| whoa! |
[09 Mar 2006|05:58am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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emanuel - make tonight >_ |
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so, i didnt sleep at all tonight & i figured this be a good time as any to update since i dont kuz...yeah.
oddly enough, i've been listening to emanuel all night. "make tonight" totally caught me off guard. its been on all night & wow, i like it...alot. to think, im gonna see them on saturday with 30 seconds to mars. good too...its been way too long since i've been to a concert. i wonder what aiden live's gonna be like. we'll see saturday night at White Rabbit! haha, we meet again san antonio concert go-ers!
work is there..i hate it! the dealing with people and kissing ass to complete strangers who are asswholes to you really ruffles my feathers. its bad enough that i hate poeple who hate me for no reason & working in this business, thats all it is...complete strangers thinking you wronged them & treating you like crap & giving you dirty looks while they sit on their fat asses & get more fat...asswholes. i hate it..HATE.
but what can you do. & as far as everything goes...with skool, and work, & homelife..im great. friends are there, pets are there..i laugh everyday & thats all i need.
i cant emphasize how fucking excited i am! wooo, 30 Seconds To Mars, again! ^_^. with my buddy too!! :D. *jumps in chair* im fucking happy.
wow, all night conversations with the most random people = koolness.
amy out!
.fin.
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[02 Feb 2006|01:21pm] |
got my 30 seconds to mars (slash aiden and emanuel) tickets biotches!
yumness....
i hate emanuel. *spit*
.fin.
*amy_x
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| untitled |
[26 Jan 2006|05:53pm] |
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music |
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H.I.M. - The Path |
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finally, a fucking day off. i've worked 38 hours since last thursday. AND tomorrow is payday so, that should be fun. i get to file for income tax :P. how lame.
i got called in to work and i wont be surprised at all if they'll call me later on tonight to work. we're so short-staffed, its not even funny. and for some reason, chilis takes an eternity to hire people. any takers?
i've been good, for the most part. i truly, TRULY gave up on this "happyness" everyone aspires to discover. i think to myself "maybe i reacted to harshly to what happened.." but that thought seems to slip away as i remember and regret. like i said before, shame on me for trying to see beauty in someone when all i heard was nothing good...nothing good at all. And i just give up..entirely, for good. the only thing closest to something like that is someone who only visits me at 2 in the morning when he's had something to drink. i hate that...i hate alcohol. i hate how poeple who i truly care about seem to only want to contact me when they're in another state of mind. im through with that shit. why cant you remember me when you're sober? why cant you truly care...
im not tolerating anything anymore. as much as i'd love to persue this 2 in the morning figure, i cant. believe me, i'd love nothing more than to just go with it...but with everything thats gone down, i've learned many things. i still wish nothing good to come of that other dumbass' life. simply because, well...he could have told me. thats all..he just could have fucking told me. what a fucking pussy (as much as i hate saying that word, which is alot, this is an acception, to me at least...). 23 years old and chasing little high school virgins...she's stupid enough to stay with him. therefore, making them both equally stupid and hey, what do you know, a match made in heaven.
i've been having the most mest up sweet tooth cravings ever. i hate chocolate..i always have & lately, thats all i've been wanting. its really starting to scare the hell out of me. ay, no se.
this shall be the end of my rant.
.fin.
*amy_x
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| just so you know, i just plained stopped trying... |
[14 Jan 2006|08:08pm] |
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 crushed |
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time spent driving - the reason i stay |
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so with the days following everything that went down, there comes the period of well, broken-ness. i had the greatest day ever yesterday. work was so much fun and i made a new friend. the show was a blast as well...but i said stuff that maybe wasnt the best thing for anyone to ever hear from someone..
i called him private. he answered and i tried to explain myself..my side i guess. my rage, my pist-offness...it ended with me crying saying all the nice things i did for him kuz i felt like it, not kuz i had to. caring about him, buying him food when he was dead broke, helping him clean...
what hurts most is that it was never appreciated. you know, all that time wasted. all the caring i did. how much i adored caring about him and being nice. and nobody will ever understand how much i LOVED being nice to that guy...no one. i cant emphasize how much that hurts right now and i know fucking better now than to think i could possibly posses the power to see beyond someone something other than what i heard contiuously. i know better..i should have known better. he said he knew he'd screw me over..he was sure of it...what do you think you did to me now dumbass...he said i was just too awesome. he said so many things and i know im better than this shit and i know hes not worth my time. but it just, hurts so much. how much i fucking cared about him for nothing...it hurts so much.
i'll get over it. i wont be calling at all. i'll just try to deal.
the times we would hang out, i felt like..there was nowhere in the entire world that i would rather be. nothing could have made me happier than those moments. and i never thought i could ever say that about someone. its wierd this time kuz everyone knows something's wrong with me. my mom and brother are worried about me...im worried about me. im sorry i cared so much...im so sorry.
im an emotional wreck. i really dont know what to do anymore. crying's the only logical conclusion to anything i think about. i should have known...i should have fucking known.
i hurt myself i guess...i dont think i deserved it. i didnt. she doesnt either. i wouldnt had i known they were together. but those days following christmas were anything but real. i was happy. i melted when he said he missed me...
and im broken.
and i played off this "i dont give a shit about him...he could die for all i care. i wanna screw him over..i could care less for him" and its nto true. kuz i did care about him. i fucking did and it wasnt appreciated and i cant emphasize how much it hurts..it hurts so bad. everything said that meant shit and in it i hurt myself and lost someone i'd sware was something other than what i heard...yeah he's a jerk but im fucking crying kuz fuck..it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad....he wasnt my anything. hes just someone i really cared about who didnt care at all...thats what hurts so bad.
"If you were here right now I wouldn't write this down at all.
I'd think out loud, embracing you in a calm confessional.
If you were here right now, I wouldn't write this song at all.
I'd sing out loud, and hope that you don't just laugh it off.
I stay here because it makes too much sense not to, too much sense not to.
If you could hear me now
I'd be careful not to say
How I have cancelled all my plans to go away.
Sometimes when you're around, it cancels out the gray,
But more than not, you tack it on in your lightless way.
I stay here because it makes too much sense not to, too much sense not to.
My joints buckle under the weight of this wall."
When I die, I want your hands on my eyes:
I want the light and the wheat of your beloved hands
to pass their freshness over me once more:
I want to feel the softness that changed my destiny.
I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep.
I want your ears still to hear the wind;
I want you to sniff the sea's aroma that we loved together,
to continue to walk on the sand we walk on.
I want what I love to continue to live,
and you whom I love and sang above everything else
to continue to flourish, full-flowered:
so that you can reach everything my love directs you to,
so that my shadow can travel along in your hair,
so that everything can learn the reason for my song.
P.N.
i didnt think i'd get hurt.
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| if you're gonna cheat on someone, do it right.... |
[12 Jan 2006|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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time spent driving - leaving |
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what a fucking idiot. so, there's this guy that i had been "seeing"...turns out the dickhead has a girlfriend. you know the type...
the one that'll tell you what you want to hear. words you thought couldnt exist to you ever again.
"you're so cute.."
"you have pretty eyes.."
"i dont wanna like you too much...but i do"
and the ever so...
"i missed you..."
me being perfectly unaware. i cant mention how many times he made it clear that he did not have anyone. you'd figure at the age of 23 youd be settling down. but come on...a 23 year old seeing someone who's still in high school..a junior. come on, how fucking sad can you possibly be habib. you werent good for anything...and yeah, i mean that too...
go to hell you worthless piece of shit. im SOOO fucking happy your life sux.
and me feeling bad for the guy. buying him food for the hell of it. sometimes, taking care of him. kuz i liked to. and im over it, i could care less about him. i really could...but wow. its just, so funny. im happy kuz hes an ass! hahaha, i love me ^_^.
thats people for you. laredo people i guess...i tried and it didnt work. maybe kuz i never made how i FELT clear. i couldnt accept that he was this big asswhole that everyone said he was. i wanted to see something beyond all that..i wanted to see him. but, i got screwed over in the end. so did his "girlfriend"..poor chick man.
work is there..work is good. i work too much. this is my only day off so it was quite fun. and hmm...i have shit to figure out. life is hard. once this semester's over, i'll be well off to getting my own place hopefully. i dont update kuz i choose not to but, i had to blare this out somewhere. its just too, TOO fucking funny. what an ass..god. no, an overall loser. a sad human being..a waiste of a soul. i'll ask God tonight why he put that piece of shit on earth. what a waste..ok im done. amy's off to sleep or something. woot!
*amy_x
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[06 Jan 2006|09:55pm] |
| You Are 19 Years Old | 
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
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| OIL !! *ah memories....* |
[18 Oct 2005|10:23pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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DFA1979 - pull out :O!!! |
] |
this lj thing has gots to go. bleh, bleh, bleh...
sooo, i talk about my day & lately & stuff, si? here we go reader....
i've been working alot. they gave me more hours & asked me to go in for people so me being me, i'd say yes of course. soo, i should be getting a pretty sweet pay check this friday (i worked 49 hours..) Yummy! i worked friday, saturday, sunday, monday, & today...gawd im drained. & i work tomorrow. its a'ight. today i visisted nixon. how grand. i saw alot of my old best buds. it brought a tear to my eye. haha, i luv those kids.
then i went to j.b.'s house to chill with his family & contemplate j.b.'s lazyness. it was pimped.
i must say, i've been rather content with the way things are going right now. boys are a no-no for amy. too much mushy-ness..besides, im not ready. havnt talked to andy since we broke up sooo...yeah. it hurt alot but, why i wasnt all "i miss you.."blah blah blah, is beyond me & i've tried to figure it out for the longest time...
yet it hurt like hell. but, its alright i presume. for now, lugging around & talking to friends &...OH MY GAWD! EATING CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW....makes me the happiest little critter on the planet. which reminds me, i gotta re-stalk on that, like now...
im taking a little road trip to u.i.l. this saturday. it should be sweet. i dont know who im going with, but i really REALLY wanna go. And i shall! *crosses fingers that "friend" will accompany me* eeehhh...
just in case you didnt know OR if you ever wondered or cared (dont judge me, im bored)...
my name is Amy (we'll get to the middle name thing in a bit..) Molina.
*i fucking love cinnamon toast crunch..i cant emphasize that enough.
*i worship danny elfman.
*i dont eat red meat.
*my favorite animals are: COWS! =D! cats, & dolphins
*i dont know how to spell my middle name...(lost birth cert. & social sec. Card)
*i blow at math...(stewpid jew...)
*chicken quesadillas from chilis rape taco palenque (wutev) chicken ques.'s.
*i saved a possum from a flood (he was a baby..i named him pedro) & i take pride in that...
*i love my new balance
*i hate hippies
*im in a band..wooo!
*i still wonder about...yeah, too much for my own good. (would have, could have's...you know..know you dont, hah! *my secret*)
*aaand, yeah....
.hasta.
*amy_x
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| chili-head |
[15 Sep 2005|11:35pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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student rick - umbrella |
] |
days are kool. im noticing a pattern. i've been opening for the past couple of weeks...soo, i guess im only working weekdays. thank goodness kuz week ends & nights totally blow.
college is alright. i bombed my history test...which was my fault of course. i refuse to read...though i take kick ass notes.
today i went to school. hung out at the kazen center, went to the mall, came home, took a nap, & ate dinner with andy. and those are my days pretty much. there's the occaisional thought of "what ever happened to him...i've lost so many this' and thats..." & thats all they are. sheer thoughts & im over them. then there's some that i actually did/do give enough thought to start weeping. about 2 weeks ago i was at work during the evening, and i look towards the to-go station & i see someone looking at me. i couldnt really tell who it was kuz i didnt have my glasses. then i squinted & to my surprise, it was faby*. haha, that was awesomely unexpected. i wanted to cry. who am i kidding, i did. wutev'.
june's albm doesnt have joanne's story. that blows. i really like that song. i should have gotten the EP when i had the chance. fudge-sickles.
woot woot! nintendo-fusion tour. FOB + starting line = bulemia.
MCS + boys night out = sanity. but hey, thats just me. im contemplating on whether or not to buy my ticket for that. i mean, i could go. its just a matter on whether or not i want to spent my money on that. i really want to. but then there's undteroath & thrice in november @ austin. eeh. AND mindless self indulgence at corpus this month. i wanna go to that but ashey's broke. wow, credit screws you over so much.
im thinking of cutting my hair off. naah, i dont have that much balls. i cant wait till winter comes. im anticipating that so much.
i like where im at right now. i cant wait to buy my piano. it shall be sweet. R-E & I learned existensionalism on prom night. it sounds really good. him on guitar and me on piano. WOW. i was amazed. it sounds really, REALLY awesome. that i can work with. something i know. maybe thats what blindsided me sometimes from being involved with my brothers "band". they do shit they like. i dont mind it but...eh, i dont know. i think im leaving next year. awesomeness.
& im spent. ah-dee-oes.
*amy_x
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| a beautiful lie. |
[25 Aug 2005|03:46pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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music |
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30STM - a beautiful lie |
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HOLY. 30SecondsToMars was sooo sick yesteryday. they had me in awe. awesomeness at its greatest ladies & gentlefolks. their album's coming out tuesday i believe. GO BUY IT!
going to that concert has been the most last minute thing i've ever done. we came back at 5 in the morning. so i slept for a good..hour and a half and got to my class before 8 this morning. thats how i roll i guess...i dont know.
anywho, Broken bored me. Ashey & I started playing paper, scissors, rox to kill time while they played. then 30STM came on & i completely lost her. I really enjoyed H20...then The Used of course...but 30STM, damn. ay, Jared...
it was a really great show. im anticipating voodoo fest even more now. MSI & 30STM = sweetness.
college is great. work is..hmm..havnt been to work since sunday. i work once a week :S....that really sux. But, oh well. goody goody gum-drops kids. im out.
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[14 Aug 2005|10:49pm] |
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guilty |
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music |
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june - patrick |
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is it just me, or did summer go by really fast...
time seems to fly faster after graduation. all in all, it was an alright summer. i miss alot of things...alot.
i went to the Chilis orientation today. it was alright. they gave us a tour. heh-heh, i went in the kicthen. it was kool. its a really small place so, i dont feel overwhelmed at all. im actually looking forward to working there.
school starts next week....yay? i dont know. 4 classes twice a week each sounds better than 5 in one day...not to mention, waking up at 6 and being home at..6 or something. i dont wanna have college on fridays. i wanna spend as much time as i can working.
im going to the voodoo music fest in new olreans holloween weekend. it shall be incredibly sick. the 22nd i venture to see the used & 30 seconds to mars in san antonio. damn glassjaw might not go...ERF! head automatica pulled out from take action last year..and now glassjaw. damn...i really wanna see daryl.
.hasta.
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| "look, he's doing someone else on the side!"...*walks into JcPenny* |
[08 Aug 2005|07:48pm] |
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mood |
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guilty |
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music |
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hopesfall - the bending |
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Amy has joined the Chilis workforce. training's on sunday in da wee hours of the morning. (8:30). it should be, hm..interesting.
geez, what's been happenin'. things with Andy are absolutely wonderful. i really couldnt be happier. we eat, watch a movie, talk, & sit outside & look at the stars. how daytime drama-ish.
and i just pissed off my friend. yeah, im stupid. gawd im stupid. i shouldnt have called him. uugh, im leaving.
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[24 Jul 2005|11:13pm] |
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music |
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.hopesfall - the bending. |
] |
another monday comes...another weekend lost & i still find myself confined in what i see as hopeless, which is well...me.
gotta register for college kuz i have to or something.
i remember talking to a once very good friend of mine & hearing crying kuz nobody brought food to eat. thats probably been the most heart-breaking story i've ever heard. and now, here i am. it hurts so badly..i feel, i dont know, un-cared for i guess. i remember talking to that friend about anything for the longest time...crying to someone who actually cared. fuck LJ.
i miss that alot. i wonder if they do too. andy's in his own little world of friends & i guess you know...since me being his "significant other" i should be able to go to him & talk to him about anything & hear all these good things about myself & be all "wow..i feel so much better..thank you so much.." & then come another one of these things happening & im completely back where i fucking started. i want resolutions...not words of encouragement...then why be in a relationship right?..i dont know. fuck it.
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[19 Jul 2005|01:43pm] |
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:O!!! hey look, a tornado watch!! aaaaah we're gonna fry yo!>?
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[15 Jul 2005|04:34pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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tool - schism |
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=D!! heh heh! might go see Johnny Depp today *cough* I mean, um, charlie & the chocolate factory with Ana, Fonzi & Andy..=O! yay!
i wanna rally up a clan of crazy kids & squish em' in my car & see that movie 3 times in one day. heh heh. any takers?
the sky looks totally sick right now. i love this shit. "how are you gonna make a life out of studying meteorology..." i dont really care how much money i make or if i can make "a life" from it. im completely enthralled by it & im dieing to know how it works. damn, i have to take alot of sciences though. arf. it'll be worth it. i'd kill to die chasing a tornado...hm.
molina out.
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| erf. |
[14 Jul 2005|07:04pm] |
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mood |
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discontent |
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music |
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A Perfect Circle - Orestes |
] |
...she really didnt have to bring my dad up. gosh, & my day was going so lovely...
so, lately i've been this sort of "stay at home nurse" in which i cater to every of grandmas needs as she recovers from her...uuh, quadruple by-pass surgery? yep thats the one. i fell asleep around 4:30ish this morning & woke up at 9 to shower & assist my aunt in taking grandma to see the doctor. i drive over there all kool & stuff & get down & wait forever till its grandmas turn. i fucking hate waiting rooms. they remind so much as to why i plan on not having kids...ever. AND if in the more than hopefully unlikely event that my biological clock ever starts ticking, im buying me a cat...another one. soooo...grandma finally sees the doctor & i wait for a long time & watch Pro 8 News..beh. soo, my aunt comes out with her & i bring the car around. we put her in & i put the wheelchair in the trunk. it totally hit the hell out of my boob...yep, that hurt. on the way home, my aunt & cousin (1 year older than me) get into a conversation about alcohol & my two kuzins. aunty totally bashes them & i wasnt down with it so i just stayed quiet. then she brings up my dad...
aunt = "when you see him, i want you tell him 'thanks for nothing & looked how i turned out'...stupid son of a bitch.." & blah, blah, blah.
me = "then can i ask him for my pending child support checks?..." (laughs..)
cousin = "why isnt your dad around...is he just a natural asswhole?"
me = thinks to myself *this fucking chick...* "i dont know..i guess. i never really cared to think about it.."
so we finally get home & my aunt invites me to go eat with her. she adores spoiling me & i like it but this time. eeh. i was really bothered & i couldnt firgure out why so i told her i wasnt going kuz "i wasnt hungry..." i kind of tuned out for a while & stayed quiet when i got home. soon, everyone left & i started thinking "gees, why do i feel sad..is it Andy...no, its not him. is it joey?..no. am i bored?..wat the hell's wrong with me.." i really couldnt figure out why my heart was hurting & therefore, begining to cry.
"is it kuz my dad was brought up?..*thinks*....
..yep....*cries like hell*"
i was remembering how throughout my academic years, i envisioned my dad there at the point where it all mattered...graduation. not even a damn phone call...nothing. i mean, you gotta make someone proud right. i thought of all my performances & how much i would have loved for my mom to go...she'd be too tired. i love her to death but still..it was very discouraging. my dad would have been to all of them simply because well...he's the reason why i even thought of music to begin with. i remember as a little girl, going to the back of his electronic store & seeing his supa' kool drum set & seeing him play it. he was awesome...he'd play in several local rock bands at corpus & be all badass. he was a rocker & i believe he still is. its heartbreaking you know...it really is. that irreplaceable absence that i'd make up for in boys...well, a boy who didnt stick around. And if that happens with Andy, pssh. im totally fucked.
ay me. tomorrow i go to nixon to pick up my transcript. should be fun i guess...maybe i'll see faby? =(...who knows. who cares right?. iono. i hurt...
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[13 Jul 2005|02:55pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
] |
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music |
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from first to last - emily |
] |
erf. i thought it was thursday. seems to me that this week is going by really slowly.
i went to sonic with kistine yesterday. haha, too fun. we sat there debating whether or not to get down & eat or stay in the car for a good...hmm, hour or so. i think she even stroke up a conversation with a nearby tree. too funny...
then i dropped her off & picked up Andy from work kuz his shag-wagon died. i hung around at his crib & we listened to a buntch of hardcore shiznit for a good while & watched boy meets world. its funny...i dont have to pretend to anything around him & niether does he. we're indirectly nice to eachother...its dysfunctional but lucid at the same time. nevertheless, we laugh our asses of & crack stupid jokes..yep, yep, yep. basterd andy's going to sounds of the underground. i heard fear before the march of flames was on selected tour dates..and they're gonna be at corpus AND shadows fall too and...ahh, andy sucks.
where the hell is the rain. geez. this hot crap sucks. i dont know..im out.
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| x_x!!!!!!!!! |
[11 Jul 2005|03:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Tool - Stinkfist |
] |
he called, i cried, we met, & didnt wanna say goodbye. i made sure i told him everything & i did.
truth be told, amy's happy right now. yep, yep, yep...
awe, summer band started. 4 summers of falling asleep late & waking up early to do exercises followed by sectionals are...over. it was a way of life & now..poof! no more. im going crazy. i NEED a piano. a simple Baldwin piano is all i need. i really miss playing the piano.
i've been raping ass on guitar though. drums suck. i dont like it but as much as i say i dont know what im doing, which i dont, my brother insists on "wow, that was good..do it again" and i feel like a prop or something. who knows...
ANA COME BACK!
amy x_x
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| for the first time in my lfie, i just wanna feel attractive today. |
[09 Jul 2005|01:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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motion city soundtrack - together we'll ring in the new year |
] |
amy's shitting herself over the much anticipated rath of hurricane dennis. what i'd give to be over there...poor florida.
i knew he wasnt gonna call. gosh, i anticipated it so much. i left him a message which in some wierd way, gave me some sort of closure. i feel very good today..i just hope this feeling doesnt leave. when ana told me she talked to him, i...aahhh. i cried so much & i didnt believe her..i still dont but nevertheless, i greatly anticipated hearing his voice. sooooo...yeah, thats not gonna happen but, hmm...i dont know.
he told me once. i believe it was along the lines of "if we do drift apart for watever reason, i'll be looking forward to fate bringing us together again.."....all of me still holds on to the sincerity i heard in his voice when he made that statement. i dont believe in fate..or anything non-tangible for that matter, but he's worth attempting to.
oh look at me go on & on about this...i should shut-up. i dont like writing about my shit anymore. i find it more thereuputic to type. cracker made me an APC wrist band. i love-ed her. i cooked my first breakfast today! haha, that was kewl. last night was too fun &....im out.
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[04 Jul 2005|11:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
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numb |
] |
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music |
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senses fail - bloody romance |
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hmmm..its the fo'th of july. booo. i think i shall go watch the firework display alone kuz well...im kool like that, or kuz im the saddest human being. eh, which ever comes first...any takers?
friday was so awesome. i went bowling with vane, jb, fonzi, bubba, ana, kistine, janet, & ray the gay. i cant remember the last time i had so much fun. i laughed & smiled like i meant it...and i did. i then met up with some other peeps that night. it was nice too kuz i talked to this totally great guy-friend for a long while & we laughed at stupid stuff & talked about eachothers "i like someone but it would never happen" problems.
& thats where it ends basically. i've been trying to convince myself that i havnt been depressed, but its not working out. i've never been like this for so long & it scares me kuz i dont know how to deal with it. and i tell myself "he's just a guy...there's alot more important stuff to worry about in life..you should let alone, be happy & thankful that you have a roof over your head & meals to eat everyday..." and i know all that's true but it doesnt change that fact that it still hurts...it hurts so much. andy was everything i asked for & i had to mess it up. and if i found anyone remotely close to the beauty his sole & mind possessed, i would not give in simply because its not him & i KNOW there will never be anyone like him again. i dont love him...im just, so taken by him overall & it sux kuz i had to loose him to realize what i had...sound familiar? oh yes indeed. took me 2 years to get over that one...i wish he'd come back. i wish i could leave out of this beem of depression but, i cant though i really want to & i try so much. somedays, i look back on my lj entries & i even made one about the first night i saw him. i remember him leaving to austin..i remember how i cried when i got home kuz it hurt. i remember when my feelings went away...when he told me he loved me...when he held me.
i guess it was a heroes trial...i dont know much about life, but i know enough to spend time trying to figure mine out. i guess, with the veil over it...i liked life i was just never quite good at it.
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| i liked life..i was just never quite good at it. |
[29 Jun 2005|12:16am] |
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motion city soundtrack - modern chemistry x_x!!!!! |
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...im super sick. i got what i had last semester...that wierd ear thing that hurt like hell & now's no accpetion. they put another shot in my tuck-us & i've been crying all day kuz well..me ear hurts. plus the damn fever comes and goes and when it comes my whole body hurts & i get the most massive headaches...i guess thats what happens when you have a weak immune system or something. im not healthy. oh wells.
awe, warped tour was great. we got there at around..3 which totally sucked kuz i completely missed motion city soundtrack and avenged sevenfold, who my friend christine wanted to see. i was only going to see MCS but, oh well. so we walked around for a bit. bought some shiznit and luckily, we didnt miss the meet and greet things for either band...sooo, i met motion city & took two pictures with justin. they're all really nice guys. i love them so much. they're gonna tour with fall out boy this fall..boo. i shall go! we then went to where avenged was & took some pictures of them.
i saw hopesfall again & boy, i was closer to them than i was at take action. jay's freakin awesome & not that many people were at their stage so i was right in front. we listened in to underoath for a while then we went to go sit on the hill. from there, i heard from first to last. they was great.
atreyu was fucking awesome. aaah. the transplants were before them. i saw travis barker :P. christine wanted to get tsunami bomb's autographs so as we were waiting in line, spencer & chris from underoath were walking by. so, i walk up to them all stoopid, & i take a picture with chris. he has the most beautiful hair in the whole wide world plus, he was super nice..
i waved at the guy from fall out boy & he waved back. haha, i dont really like them but, eh, i dont know.
so warped was great & it really couldnt have been better. well, just a little. i was sick the day before warped so i was popping pills like crazy & trying to get better by the next day, which i did & i felt fine at warped but come monday morning, i wanted to shoot myself. im still in pain. ouch.
sooo yeah. ahh, i feel so siiiick. i cant wait till this fall. more MCS x_x!!!! & with everything said & done..with school over, andy gone, my health functioning improperly, & the rest of my life ahead of me i can finally honeslty say... im so happy right now =) <--see thats me!
amy x_x
*you're all the metaphors i cant create to comprehend this curse that i call love*
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